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Wild-Ass Guessing: Naruto Edition

Posted by Doug on March 19, 2009

WARNING: If you’re not up to date with the Naruto manga series, this post isn’t going to make any sense at all.  Well, it might not make sense even if you are, but if you aren’t, there isn’t much hope at all.  Being at least a little familiar with the original Star Wars trilogy (Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi) will also help some.  In any case, if you haven’t read through chapter 440, there are going to be some serious spoilers ahead.

“I sealed half of the demon fox’s chakra inside you,” Minato Namikaze, the Fourth Hokage, said to his son, Naruto Uzumaki.

The moment I read this panel (chapter 440, page 8), I immediately honed in on one word in that sentence: half.  It had been assumed up until this point that all of the Nine-Tailed Fox Demon’s chakra was sealed inside Naruto shortly after he had been born, but now we learn that only half had been.  The question becomes: Where is the other half?

And as I thought on that question, my mind turned to another confrontation between father and son, from an entirely different franchise, set in a galaxy far, far away….

“Sister?” Darth Vader said to Luke Skywalker.  “So…you have a twin sister?  Your feelings have now betrayed her, too.  Obi-Wan was wise to hide her…”

“Sister?” Tobi said to Naruto Uzumaki.  “So…you have a twin sister?  Your feelings have now betrayed her, too.  The Fourth Hokage was wise to hide her…”

The idea just popped into my mind: Naruto Uzumaki and Sakura Haruno are twin brother and sister.  The other half of the Fox Demon’s chakra is sealed inside Sakura.

Let’s face it.  I have a messed-up mind...but still:

Consider, it is not known what happened to Naruto’s mother.  It is generally believed she died during childbirth, but I’ve never found anything that confirms this.  Of course, Sakura’s parents have never been depicted yet…or have they?  If Kushina Uzumaki is Sakura’s mother, then there are two possibilities: the woman who raised Sakura was in fact Kushina (who remarried into the Haruno family), OR Sakura was adopted into the Haruto family.

So, does anything contradict this?  From what I’ve gathered online, Minato Namikaze’s blood type was B, the same as Naruto’s; Kushina’s was also a B.  Sakura’s blood type is O.  Now if Minato and Kushina both had the BO genotype (B phenotype), they could have had children with the BB and BO genotype (B phenotype) or the OO genotype (O phenotype).  So, the blood types are compatable with my theory hypothesis.

Kushina had red hair; Minato had blond.  Naruto’s hair is blond, just like his old man.  Sakura’s hair is very pink.  Pink = red?  Pink = red + blond?  If you concede the point that pink hair is even possible, then this isn’t too much of a stretch.

Naruto’s birthday was October 10th…but Sakura’s was March 28th.  This is probably one of the biggest weaknesses in my hypothesis so far.  Of course, had Naruto and Sakura had the same birthday from the beginning, people would have been suspecting this forever, so it might well be that those are not strictly canon, or, in-story, that the dates may have been falsified.  Still, this is a recognized problem.

Of course, the fact that Naruto has been fawning all over Sakura since she was introduced makes this a little squicky, but come on, it’s no worse than Luke and Leia’s little proto-romance…but it does renew hope for all the Naruto×Hinata shippers out there!  (I can totally hear Hinata telling Naruto she loves him, and Naruto replying “I know.”)

So, to sum up my grand hypothesis: Naruto and Sakura are brother and sister, and Sakura has half of the Nine-Tailed Fox Demon’s chakra sealed inside of her.  It can be disproven quite easily, but this would be a most incredible turn of events.  Right or wrong, I can not wait to see how this turns out.

I also have some lesser hypotheses…

Kakashi isn’t dead.  He was talked about as a possible Hokage candidate, and I doubt the Kish would just drop a line like that at random.  Further, Tsunade’s going to die, and soon: Shizune is dead, Tsunade has lost her Forehead Mark of Power, and with Danzo nipping at her heels, her continuing position as Hokage was already in question. Tsunade will die, Kakashi will live and be named the Sixth Hokage. Sasuke will be the one to kill Danzo, but he will be convinced by Naruto not to extend his vengeance further (Naruto will beat the emo ever-loving shit out of Sasuke, and like everyone else Naruto has pwned, Sasuke will become Naruto’s friend…once again).  The prodigal son will return to the fold.

When Asuma and Kurenai’s child is born, the Leaf Village will be once again under the threat of destruction by one or the other of the tailed beasts, and it will be suggested that someone seal said beast into the child…and Naruto will say No Fucking Way. It will be Naruto who puts an end to the practice of creating jinchuuriki once and for all.  Also, the notion that the tailed beasts are unstoppable forces of nature will come to an end when Naruto, with both Sakura and Sasuke at his side, annihilates one or all of them.  Naruto wasn’t the one who swore he would protect Kurenai and Asuma’s child, but let us face the facts: this manga isn’t called Shikamaru.

“As long as the current shinobi system is in place,” Minato said, “we may very well never have peace.”

Naruto will never become Hokage—heck, he might not even become a chuunin—because in the end, he will have ended the institution of ninja and ushered in a new age of peace.  Naruto only wanted to become Hokage to win the respect of the villagers who despised him; his great victory will come when he realizes that becoming Hokage is completely unnecessary.

Of course, these are just guesses, and aren’t really based on anything except brief snippets of the story so far and my imagination.  My plan is to revisit these predictions in a couple months after enough new information has surfaced to prove or disprove my predictions.

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5 Responses to “Wild-Ass Guessing: Naruto Edition”

  1. (I can totally hear Hinata telling Naruto she loves him, and Naruto replying “I know.”)
    Are you kidding? Naruto is denser than a neutron star when it comes to her or any other chick for that matter.

  2. Doug said

    No, I am not kidding. And I think it’s clear by now that Naruto is not as dense as he sometimes appears (who taught Konohamaru that Rasengan?).

  3. And teaching him the Rasengan has nothing to do with women.

  4. Doug said

    And I think you’re selling the boy short. Mr. Sensitivity he is not, but if Hinata’s confession doesn’t give him a clue, I will be amazed.

  5. A bit of shameless advertising here, but if you like Anime we’ve got plenty up for download at http://www.narutoshack.com

    Mainly Naruto at the moment, but much more soon!

    NarutoShack x

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